Opening up to the way

"In wisdom, I am nothing. In love, I am everything. And in between the two, my life moves."

Why are we here? It's like we are all on this ship together and are trying to find each other in the dark, as though we are constantly rocking side to side and missing each other when what we are looking for is right under our nose. Lately it seems as if me and the people around me have been wavering off their way by which they had intended to be on - mentally and with feeling I suppose. I haven't had the emotion to cry in the longest time, as though my heart-brain continuum has been staggered off onto different directions and I'm just trying to find flow. Trust in oneself and the universe is important. But that can be counterintuitive if my synchronicities and what I'm attracting has been deviated via thought. I have been reading a book called "The Denial of Death" by Ernest Becker and I am really enjoying this book thus far, not too far into it yet but it has been pretty informative. I really like when Becker discusses the idea that we are all at a constant survival instinct mode whether consciously or unconsciously due to the underlying fear of our inevitable death. Consequently, if we repress our emotions and fears of death we will not be able to establish a sense of stability and be ready for such a thing. We will essentially in turn, give it more power. The reason I bring up the book is because I myself have been struggling lots of negative thoughts and emotions and even fear of death experiences where I become completely oblivious to my inner-outer world difference and similarities and wind up stuck in a loop, ruminating on the thing trying to fight the mind when in reality, we don't need to fight the mind at all. What we must do it be the "silent witness" or "the observer" of our thoughts. Maybe that way we can get more in touch with our feelings and emotions. No more guilt, damn it! I have been feeling guilty for so long that I feel like I have a poison of guilt inside of me honestly. Guilt and shame. Those two are huge facets I am trying to resolve within myself.

So HOW!? How in the hell do we as a collective, as individuals find harmony and peace? Hm. Well if we can find a way to realize that emptiness or vastness is also ever present in light or in SUCHNES, just as the sky is to the stars, as a cave is to a candle or the ocean to the moon; we will soon come to realize that we are not necessarily in the dark. Music for instance has many facets to it by which I'm not going to get into right now but there's usually a melody and a harmony, and as they both perfectly compliment one another they manifest a piece of art. One cannot exist without the other. Period. So the next time that you say you feel "empty". Think again how the entire universe has a million reaches within you and is simply waiting to be discovered. "Practice self-introspection and calm the passions of the heart." Listen. Trust your heart a little deeper within that vast emptiness that you may feel. And maybe just maybe you may find the truth. Shift your attention from words to silence and you will hear. Love all or none of it and stop complaining. Life is a dream, see it as so. Once you find your world is your own projection, you are free of it. It's all within after all, isn't it?

I think we're all capable of making this world better. I have had multiple encounters with the divine and I have learned that nothing lasts in this world that by which you try to cling to, but if you trust and let go then you have the chance of getting what it is that you truly want. Suffering is a part of life and we have to heal those wounds by tending to them as we embrace our fears and face them at the door, laughing.

Lastly, I'd like to talk about how important it is to be patient. With yourself and with others. If you allow yourself to feel, to really FEEL what you're going through then you're allowing yourself to process what it is that you're dealing with. Because otherwise, if you just ruminate on what you may be seeking guidance for then you spiral in a loop and have challenges finding yourself back. Find your center. Always come back to your center. It is so important to find truth, reason and love in what you commit to because that way you're not wasting your time and you have an incentive to dig further or rather move on to the next better thing. I trust in myself that I will heal. I am doing a lot better today than I was just recently and I think that's wonderful. I wish for everyone to find their center, to find equanimity and find their true selves.